december 20th.

meh i haven't actually written anything on here in a while.

last night was alright actually :) went into town on the three bus, met kirstie and lauren at the station. wandered about town in the freezing fucking colf looking for drink till half five when we met melissa and then met casey from work. went up to casey's auntie's to curl her hair and stayed till about half six, then went to the station to meet other people who i dinnay remember the names of. me and mel ended up going up the top car park and drinking some of her cider because we thought lauren and kirtsie were going to cardross to get their drink but they didn't end up going. eventually someone drove along to costcutters and got theirs, and we were sorted. got the quarter to eight bus up to churchill, went into casey's for a bit while she got ready, then went to the shop for diluting juice - lauren's one of those weak people who pours it in their cider. then we went up to 'the logs.' by this time it was, lauren, kirstie, me, casey, melissa, christina and demi. we went up there and started drinking some more, then murdo turned up, shortly followed by the rest of "the boys" as they're called. everything was ladidadi fineeeee, me and melissa got the five to ten bus to town so i could get the last bus home. bumped into beefy who i haven't seen in months and fell asleep on him on the bus. got home, made food, phoned reece for an hour or so then went to sleep - bliss :)
woke up at five am with cramp that bad i couldn't lie down. damn female body.

last week at school was quite gid but  :D have enjoyed my senior choir times with megan and becca - pullin is a legend and will be missed (L).

i like christmas.

still to come;
25th december - christmas
27th december - stacey solomon (L) missed her flight.
28th december - the bold wick. roads too icy :( :(
new years! amazing night (L)
2nd januray - back from the bold wick.
3rd january - olly murs (L) too ill to go D:
july 2010 - t in the park!

gaga. spektor. hill.

get them listened to. brighten up days (:

lukin at muh wuman?

don't be lukin at mah wuman.

you don't know who a roll wi. watch it.

i want your everything;

as long as it's free.

t in the fucking park 2010 tickets booked (LLL)!! i'm well excited, thursday-sunday;travel included. i dunno who's playing or anything ahhahaha it's just gunna be well good :D cleggiebum and taz and kasekase is going, innit (H). i goes to my maw "i can't believe you're letting me go to t in the park" and she went "just don't kill yourself with drugs or something."
but she worries really, you can tell. she'll get all emotional when i leave.
she was supposed to be coming with me. fool.

caught in a bad romance.
i want your love, and i want your revenge
i want your love - i don't wanna be friends.
want your bad romance.

oh hai ther. i'm sittin in the fucking house by myself, in god's shit end of nowhere, where there are no houses/streetlights, and i'm petrified of the dark. people were meant to be here but complications lalala. well actually - complication. not answering your phone n that, INNIT. helps if you do.
eatin orange matchmakurz.
watchin x factur.
drinkin orange jooz.

waitin fur kasey 2 ansur hur fonz.

RONDA GOT RIMMED.
NEMO GOT FOUND.

december 10th.

mmmmm watcha saaaaaaay. mmmmm thatya only meant welllll, well of course you did. mmmmmm watcha saaaaaay, mmmm that its ALL FUR THE BEEEEEST, of course it is.

i miss gemma :(

get a fucking grip. don't take your immature, selfish bad moods out on me, because as per fucking usual i have done nothing wrong. for the past however many - fifteen, twenty? years, everyones life has revolved around you and everyone has tiptoed round you - because we don't want to upset you? or because we can't deal with the pathetic way you deal with the fact that we all have lives too, and we're not mute spirits, drifting, how you want us to. we all have things to do, and, SHOCKING as it may seem to you, we all have the right to breathe, speak, and walk around our own house. if you continue to treat everyone in the space around you like shit, maybe one day someone is going to let you know exactly how we really see you.

look at that, look at how they lookin at me.

her skin ripped open, you could see her heart;
and we danced.
it's always meant something to me, that line. used to give me goosebumps.
although, in the song, it is about having sex with the corpse of a teenage girl,
you can sorta imagine it in other ways.
sometimes, i feel like people can see straight through me. like they know that what they're about to say is going to hit me so hard that if i was standing my legs wouldnt have been able to take it. that im barely going to be able to breathe because it's as though you physically just kicked me straight in the chest.

but they say it anyway,

25 RANDOM FUNSHANFACTS ;D

1. my fingerless grey and black gloves that i wear every day smell really badly of cigarette smoke.
2. i really enjoy the taste of cider.
3. regina spektor literally puts a smile on my face :)
4.i have a thing for knowing the words to songs too quickly, and irritatingly singing along to them all of the time.
5. i cry really easily.
6. every time i taste straight vodka it hurts my heart a little bit for my best friend.
7. sometimes i worry i don't feel the right amount of emotion for certain people in my life - there are some people which i know i feel too much for.
8. sometimes i wonder who my true friends are. then i realise that i could never leave certain people, no matter what happened.
9. i dance around my kitchen. i like to think i look good while i do it as well.
10. my mother can, at times, be my best friend. at times she is the only person on this planet i would consider an enemy.
11. i worry that i will do nothing with my life.
12. i like vanilla ice cream from dinos the best. i know this. yet every time i go in i wonder if i want something else...
13. hot chocolate with marshmallows and cream, and a good book, is the happiest i will ever be.
14. i will never, ever forgive you for what you done to me that night.
15. i think i might actually like her.
16. i really, really want to just help people. in my life. the thing is; im such a bitch now, can i ever change? scares me.
17. my biggest fear is being told i cant have children.
18. im still in love with him.
19. I ADORE CHRISTMAS.
20. i eat too many asda's own milky ways. i know that while i eat them.
21. i love the smell of tippex. it's amazing.
22. when i step in fresh snow it makes me want to cry, because the world seems like a good place again.
23. i find kasey gallagher's snoring when she's pished quite comforting if i can't sleep.
24. i hate the smell of super noodles, but can eat them.
25. i miss ryan smith.

;

parklands interview was well good (:
i was meanty have to wait a week or so until she got back to me, but she just said at the end, pretty much; "look today has gone really well, i don't see why you can't just start next week if that's okay with you." was like yass :)
got there about five to ten and got straight in to talk to mrs o'hair (who's first name i have forgotten, shit). pretty much just got asked what you would expect - subjects i took, how i like school, what my interests are etc etc. she said "i'm just wondering what you can bring to this job" and i was like ehh..i like to read :| cause like i freaked out but then she started talking to me about twilight and i was like phew i'm safe. talked about other stuff.
asked me why i was interested in the job. i know, obviously, but it's hard to just stop and think of how to word it in a way that gets your point across to other people.

i want this job because i've seen how much people like this can help a child first hand. i've seen how one person taking a few minutes to get to know how your mind works rather than assuming you're "difficult" can comepletely change your life. i want this job because from the minute it came into my mind that i might be able to do it, i've known that there is nothing else i want to do. i want this job because i don't want to change the world - i want to change a couple of kids life.

then i got to meet everyone. awwwwwh they are all lovely :D i'm gunna be working with the five most severely disabled kids in the whole place - but for kids who've got it shit, they're such a cheery bunch you cannot help but smile! :) out of the five of them, only one of them can walk, and i think only one can talk properly, but they're a fun bunch :) they all communicate in their own way, and from only being there an hour this morning i can already tell i'm going to love working with them :D

the whole place is covered in amazing work, posters, pictures of activities, information about things they've done, award the school/individuals have won - it's lovely (:

soz went on a bit there.

proud of myself ^^

QUOTE OF THE YEAR;

"i like your bag, where did you get it? new look?"

fuck yourself (:

i just can't be bothered trying any more. it used to hurt me that i'd lost you, but now it's just a tired, sorta numb thing.
do you know, the irony of it is, i GAINED gemma, who's now one of my best mates, but yet i lost you - tell me, andrew, how does that work, exactly?
and all of your "oh it's not just youuu, it's everyoneee" bullshit - do i look like i believe you? if i'd done that to you i would have been in shit. actually scrap that, i never would have because i always was under this apparently LUDICROUS impression that we were BEST MATES. i know man, how stupid am i, hahaha. so stupid, infact, that i thought - and god, it's just hit me how ridiculous i am - that you could, shock horror, have a girlfriend AND friends! what a dick, eh?
and not that this is gemma's fault. she sees joseph, she spends time away from you, and she would never not want you to see your friends. no, this is all down to you.
it just makes me wonder, what if you and gemma were to break up? not that i see it happening, but what if? what are you gunna do andrew - come back to us? "sorry i haven't spoken to you in months but cheer me up now please" ? you know i will, you know all of us would, but i just think it's pathetic.
i always made time for you, always, didn't matter how much shit i had going on.

BROS
BEFORE
HOES.

ah mind this one time, when we got saully, ryan and matt to come round to mine on the bus, even though they were only going to be there for like 20 minutes, cause we had dresses on and we thought it'd be good to invite them round. we were walkin about my house, me in red and you in purple, with glasses of bacardi and coke, singing to DIZZEEEEE RASCAAAAL. cause at that time, all we ever sung was; WASSUP DAAHLIN, AHVE BEEN KEEPIN MA AAAHYE ON YA MOVEMAAANTS. and then that rihanna song that we listened to all the time came on, it was just a well good night. i remember how we were dancing away in the living room with the volume up full blast - even though we were babysitting the boys and they were in bed - and we suddenly thought "what if were dancing and like..they look in the window?!" hahahaha! it was well funny man. well good times (:

rhps.

ROCKY HORROR PICTURE SHOW.
glasgow, 27th novemeber 2009.

well good night mate! me and cleggiebum went to see it an she even GOT UP AND DANCED! hahahah they were all amazing, we met them all - CHRISTOPHER BIGGINS SIGNED MY BOOBS ;D

well good night (:

lets do the time warp again ;)