december 20th.

meh i haven't actually written anything on here in a while.

last night was alright actually :) went into town on the three bus, met kirstie and lauren at the station. wandered about town in the freezing fucking colf looking for drink till half five when we met melissa and then met casey from work. went up to casey's auntie's to curl her hair and stayed till about half six, then went to the station to meet other people who i dinnay remember the names of. me and mel ended up going up the top car park and drinking some of her cider because we thought lauren and kirtsie were going to cardross to get their drink but they didn't end up going. eventually someone drove along to costcutters and got theirs, and we were sorted. got the quarter to eight bus up to churchill, went into casey's for a bit while she got ready, then went to the shop for diluting juice - lauren's one of those weak people who pours it in their cider. then we went up to 'the logs.' by this time it was, lauren, kirstie, me, casey, melissa, christina and demi. we went up there and started drinking some more, then murdo turned up, shortly followed by the rest of "the boys" as they're called. everything was ladidadi fineeeee, me and melissa got the five to ten bus to town so i could get the last bus home. bumped into beefy who i haven't seen in months and fell asleep on him on the bus. got home, made food, phoned reece for an hour or so then went to sleep - bliss :)
woke up at five am with cramp that bad i couldn't lie down. damn female body.

last week at school was quite gid but  :D have enjoyed my senior choir times with megan and becca - pullin is a legend and will be missed (L).

i like christmas.

still to come;
25th december - christmas
27th december - stacey solomon (L) missed her flight.
28th december - the bold wick. roads too icy :( :(
new years! amazing night (L)
2nd januray - back from the bold wick.
3rd january - olly murs (L) too ill to go D:
july 2010 - t in the park!

gaga. spektor. hill.

get them listened to. brighten up days (:

lukin at muh wuman?

don't be lukin at mah wuman.

you don't know who a roll wi. watch it.

i want your everything;

as long as it's free.

t in the fucking park 2010 tickets booked (LLL)!! i'm well excited, thursday-sunday;travel included. i dunno who's playing or anything ahhahaha it's just gunna be well good :D cleggiebum and taz and kasekase is going, innit (H). i goes to my maw "i can't believe you're letting me go to t in the park" and she went "just don't kill yourself with drugs or something."
but she worries really, you can tell. she'll get all emotional when i leave.
she was supposed to be coming with me. fool.

caught in a bad romance.
i want your love, and i want your revenge
i want your love - i don't wanna be friends.
want your bad romance.

oh hai ther. i'm sittin in the fucking house by myself, in god's shit end of nowhere, where there are no houses/streetlights, and i'm petrified of the dark. people were meant to be here but complications lalala. well actually - complication. not answering your phone n that, INNIT. helps if you do.
eatin orange matchmakurz.
watchin x factur.
drinkin orange jooz.

waitin fur kasey 2 ansur hur fonz.

RONDA GOT RIMMED.
NEMO GOT FOUND.

december 10th.

mmmmm watcha saaaaaaay. mmmmm thatya only meant welllll, well of course you did. mmmmmm watcha saaaaaay, mmmm that its ALL FUR THE BEEEEEST, of course it is.

i miss gemma :(

get a fucking grip. don't take your immature, selfish bad moods out on me, because as per fucking usual i have done nothing wrong. for the past however many - fifteen, twenty? years, everyones life has revolved around you and everyone has tiptoed round you - because we don't want to upset you? or because we can't deal with the pathetic way you deal with the fact that we all have lives too, and we're not mute spirits, drifting, how you want us to. we all have things to do, and, SHOCKING as it may seem to you, we all have the right to breathe, speak, and walk around our own house. if you continue to treat everyone in the space around you like shit, maybe one day someone is going to let you know exactly how we really see you.

look at that, look at how they lookin at me.

her skin ripped open, you could see her heart;
and we danced.
it's always meant something to me, that line. used to give me goosebumps.
although, in the song, it is about having sex with the corpse of a teenage girl,
you can sorta imagine it in other ways.
sometimes, i feel like people can see straight through me. like they know that what they're about to say is going to hit me so hard that if i was standing my legs wouldnt have been able to take it. that im barely going to be able to breathe because it's as though you physically just kicked me straight in the chest.

but they say it anyway,

25 RANDOM FUNSHANFACTS ;D

1. my fingerless grey and black gloves that i wear every day smell really badly of cigarette smoke.
2. i really enjoy the taste of cider.
3. regina spektor literally puts a smile on my face :)
4.i have a thing for knowing the words to songs too quickly, and irritatingly singing along to them all of the time.
5. i cry really easily.
6. every time i taste straight vodka it hurts my heart a little bit for my best friend.
7. sometimes i worry i don't feel the right amount of emotion for certain people in my life - there are some people which i know i feel too much for.
8. sometimes i wonder who my true friends are. then i realise that i could never leave certain people, no matter what happened.
9. i dance around my kitchen. i like to think i look good while i do it as well.
10. my mother can, at times, be my best friend. at times she is the only person on this planet i would consider an enemy.
11. i worry that i will do nothing with my life.
12. i like vanilla ice cream from dinos the best. i know this. yet every time i go in i wonder if i want something else...
13. hot chocolate with marshmallows and cream, and a good book, is the happiest i will ever be.
14. i will never, ever forgive you for what you done to me that night.
15. i think i might actually like her.
16. i really, really want to just help people. in my life. the thing is; im such a bitch now, can i ever change? scares me.
17. my biggest fear is being told i cant have children.
18. im still in love with him.
19. I ADORE CHRISTMAS.
20. i eat too many asda's own milky ways. i know that while i eat them.
21. i love the smell of tippex. it's amazing.
22. when i step in fresh snow it makes me want to cry, because the world seems like a good place again.
23. i find kasey gallagher's snoring when she's pished quite comforting if i can't sleep.
24. i hate the smell of super noodles, but can eat them.
25. i miss ryan smith.

;

parklands interview was well good (:
i was meanty have to wait a week or so until she got back to me, but she just said at the end, pretty much; "look today has gone really well, i don't see why you can't just start next week if that's okay with you." was like yass :)
got there about five to ten and got straight in to talk to mrs o'hair (who's first name i have forgotten, shit). pretty much just got asked what you would expect - subjects i took, how i like school, what my interests are etc etc. she said "i'm just wondering what you can bring to this job" and i was like ehh..i like to read :| cause like i freaked out but then she started talking to me about twilight and i was like phew i'm safe. talked about other stuff.
asked me why i was interested in the job. i know, obviously, but it's hard to just stop and think of how to word it in a way that gets your point across to other people.

i want this job because i've seen how much people like this can help a child first hand. i've seen how one person taking a few minutes to get to know how your mind works rather than assuming you're "difficult" can comepletely change your life. i want this job because from the minute it came into my mind that i might be able to do it, i've known that there is nothing else i want to do. i want this job because i don't want to change the world - i want to change a couple of kids life.

then i got to meet everyone. awwwwwh they are all lovely :D i'm gunna be working with the five most severely disabled kids in the whole place - but for kids who've got it shit, they're such a cheery bunch you cannot help but smile! :) out of the five of them, only one of them can walk, and i think only one can talk properly, but they're a fun bunch :) they all communicate in their own way, and from only being there an hour this morning i can already tell i'm going to love working with them :D

the whole place is covered in amazing work, posters, pictures of activities, information about things they've done, award the school/individuals have won - it's lovely (:

soz went on a bit there.

proud of myself ^^

QUOTE OF THE YEAR;

"i like your bag, where did you get it? new look?"

fuck yourself (:

i just can't be bothered trying any more. it used to hurt me that i'd lost you, but now it's just a tired, sorta numb thing.
do you know, the irony of it is, i GAINED gemma, who's now one of my best mates, but yet i lost you - tell me, andrew, how does that work, exactly?
and all of your "oh it's not just youuu, it's everyoneee" bullshit - do i look like i believe you? if i'd done that to you i would have been in shit. actually scrap that, i never would have because i always was under this apparently LUDICROUS impression that we were BEST MATES. i know man, how stupid am i, hahaha. so stupid, infact, that i thought - and god, it's just hit me how ridiculous i am - that you could, shock horror, have a girlfriend AND friends! what a dick, eh?
and not that this is gemma's fault. she sees joseph, she spends time away from you, and she would never not want you to see your friends. no, this is all down to you.
it just makes me wonder, what if you and gemma were to break up? not that i see it happening, but what if? what are you gunna do andrew - come back to us? "sorry i haven't spoken to you in months but cheer me up now please" ? you know i will, you know all of us would, but i just think it's pathetic.
i always made time for you, always, didn't matter how much shit i had going on.

BROS
BEFORE
HOES.

ah mind this one time, when we got saully, ryan and matt to come round to mine on the bus, even though they were only going to be there for like 20 minutes, cause we had dresses on and we thought it'd be good to invite them round. we were walkin about my house, me in red and you in purple, with glasses of bacardi and coke, singing to DIZZEEEEE RASCAAAAL. cause at that time, all we ever sung was; WASSUP DAAHLIN, AHVE BEEN KEEPIN MA AAAHYE ON YA MOVEMAAANTS. and then that rihanna song that we listened to all the time came on, it was just a well good night. i remember how we were dancing away in the living room with the volume up full blast - even though we were babysitting the boys and they were in bed - and we suddenly thought "what if were dancing and like..they look in the window?!" hahahaha! it was well funny man. well good times (:

rhps.

ROCKY HORROR PICTURE SHOW.
glasgow, 27th novemeber 2009.

well good night mate! me and cleggiebum went to see it an she even GOT UP AND DANCED! hahahah they were all amazing, we met them all - CHRISTOPHER BIGGINS SIGNED MY BOOBS ;D

well good night (:

lets do the time warp again ;)

CLUBLAND 2009.

november 26th 2009;
MAAAATE. well good night :)
right, went home from school to my nana's, me cleggs and kasey. spent from quarter to four till five o'clock getting our tutu's and legwarmers and all that baws on. make up done. hair washed and up. glitter, tights - all that girly stuff that clubland requires ;)
five o'clock, got a lift to the station and met benzie - who promptly went and got us a 2L of cider each and a quarter bottle of vodka.
20 to 6; got on the train. didn't go sit in the carraige with everyone else clubland bound, sat at our own wee bit and started enjoying our cider. well, i say we, i mean me cause kasey can't drink it till she has juice in it so i had to drink hers and cleggie's down to the label for them; WHAT A HARDSHIP.
pudge got on and came to collect his vodka from us.
lauren got on and decided that we WERE going to sit with her and everyone else in that carraige - well a good part of the night! everyone, and i mean like 30 people, sitting there with their booze out, smoking and that, was a well good train journey :D!
got off the first train and ended up giving lauren my jacket, the fanny, cause she was freezing - well warm clothes. everyone was already mwi but so it's cool.
anyways, got on the train, got off at the SECC, we were like an hour early - so we decided to go get more mwi. we found a car park, classy i know, and sat round there ahaha. we were just sitting there, minding our own business, shouting at random passers by as we drank and taking pictures, and then "Callum and William - NOT WILLY" came round and shared theirs with us (H) that was enjoyable ;)
anyways, got round to the doors to get in and they were like naw, too drunk soz, go get coffee an come bakz. so i did, kasey got off with some gorgeous random guy, i drunk 2 cups of coffee, cleggie smoked, we pissed in the armadildo thing and then went in. met some hot burd when we were about to go in actually, apparently she done something, we got our pictures taken with hur :)
anyways we were quite close to the back after all that fiasco and shambles, and fuckin AGNES was on giving it RELEEEEEEEEASE MEEEEEEE and we were dancing away :)
by the time styles was on, we were about the middle of the crowd and GEEIN IT YALDYYYY etc. kaseys gut videos, i vaguely remember singing CUZ AH NEED YE TAE SAAAAAYVE MEEEEEEEH along with the other however many thousand people were there.
by ndubz we were at the front mate. ahmaaaaaayzing. you actually could barely hear them cause everyone was screaming so loud the whole time they were on - dappy lifted his top up at one point and i thought cleggs was actually going to hyperventialte ;D hahahaha. YOU TOUCHED MAH BODYY.
cascadaaaaa(L) awh she finished and i actually am in love with her, it was amazing. kasey fainted in the middle of ndubz, furgot to mention that, got carried away and then five minutes later casually popped up, tapped cleggs on the shoulder and was like HUYAAA. i was like wtf did you come from :O ahahaha. lost hur she the bint.
so yeah we got out and kaseys like "oh ill go get the booze we stashed and meet you back outside here, you wait and get the stuff out the cloakroom - shan can i borrow your shoes cause i lost one of mine!" so i was like oh aye, course, ill meet you outisde in a bit :)
SHE WUZNT THERE. TYPICAL. so we went to look for her. how amazingly smart that was, walking about glasgow in the pissing rain at eleven o'clock at night in bare feet and a tutu. genius! found the booze drunk the booze mwi. kasey missed the train, ass. so we got a train to dalmuir and met hur there.
got back to my nans about half twelve. had crisp sandwhiches and cups of tea.

GOOD NIGHT :)

adventures from rocky horror to come innit..

ADHD.

some stuff annoys me when it really has no need to. we read this thing in english today, about how so many kids who are diagnosed (a lot of the time wrongly diagnosed) with ADHD are drugged up on Ritalin from such an early age that it's unbelievable. Ritalin is an amphetamine. It is, chemically, almost identical to cocaine, and it is a class A drug. This is being given, not only to children with ADHD from about six years old onward, but also to the hundreds and hundreds of kids in the UK who have been wrongly diagnosed - kids who are now being drugged up to their eyeballs. Surely we should adjust, say, our school systems to fit the needs of the furure generations, now that we can identify problems like this - and have people trained to deal with them - rather than drugging kids up so they will sit and listen and go along with the ever failing school system?

i am aware that this is mostly only my opinion, as i have already been told my one of my mates that my point of view is retarded.

i happen to have a little brother with aspergers, a form of autism, and a few years ago he - or rather, my parents - were offered something along the same lines as Ritalin. i distinctly remember my mum being appaled at the idea and refusing, solidly, to - in her worlds - "drug her baby." she thought it was wrong, and so do i. it's difficult sometimes, especially for my parents, but most of all it must be difficult for my little brother. but i never, ever, would consider DRUGGING him so that WE can have a more peaceful life.

it's disgusting.

i can see, obviously, that for some people it's a miracle, but it should be given to the exceptions, who really need it, and who it can really help. not to any kid who's a bit too hyperactive for their primary school teacher or busy parent to deal with.

society; get a grip.

..

regina spektor,
     and other ramblings.

regina spektor really just makes my day. have you heard her? if not, youtube her. hotel song. field bewlow. on the radio. musicbox. us. the call. chemo limo. samson. just youtube her, download it all, i don't care. she's one of those people who's voice you cannot compare with anyone else and who you will never out of your head. she is simply amazing.

school is really starting to do my tits in. essays, hundreds of homework, NABs, college courses, uni courses, teachers stressing. everything man. its well bad compared to fourth year and i proper dont know if i can cope with it aaaaaall!!

got my new moon tickets booked.
whats that?
you dont have yours?
go. go now.

blog title here.

alex alpin.
he's the boldyin, right there. well. not the actual boldyin, because he doesn't have a car with candy and puppies in it, and a dodgy mattress. shame actually, big nick just does it for me ;D i'd quite like to take him (nick, not alex) round the bins at i like candy and have him take my virginty from me. but only if he'd had coco pops for breakfast. hairy, dykey, patchy and toothy could join in if they really wanted to, but i'm not sure if it's quite their cup of tea - i have a feeling they prefer spin the bottle tbh. ne wyz, wher boutz u chilin ths wknd? u r flamin hot. if u wnt me 2 sng ur fac of, i wl either b bhind th gargz or bhind i lyk cndy.

alex is great, i've never found anyone more like me, or got this close to someone in such a short space of time (: x

i'd need a harpoon to catch me one.

gemma gibson is a legend.
she's a whale!! i am very, very dissappointed! AMAZING BOOOK.
soz thought she was pretty. soz, thought she had eyes ;-)

i love you.

i don't even know where to begin. you saved me, you fixed me, you loved me, when i needed you most.
you never gave up on me. when i was twelve, and i had pigtails and i went  out with your best mate - you still loved me. when i was thirteen,fourteen, and i got new friends and we drifted apart - you still loved me.
when i came back. when i realised how much i really honestly missed you, and i came back - you still loved me. you stuck with me and we became best mates again.
we got closer and closer - even closer than we were when i was that minging little twelve year old girl in churchill. you were generally my whole life, i spent every day with you - that little while before regi. break. lunch. after school. friday. saturday. sunday. there was never a question, it was - im going into town, what bus is andrew getting? or "who are you going into town with?" "oh andrew and that..." before i even consulted you about it. there was a time when nothing would have stopped you spending time with me, and i felt the same - only for different reasons.
then there was that night that changed everything. i think we both knew it was going to happen some time, the way we carried on, but i didn't realise just how much it would change things. ruin things.
it was alright for a while. i knew that the fact you knew you were in charge now would change things even more but i dunno...i believed it would all work out. i believed you felt how i did, that we were meant to be together. made for each other. i thought you would be happy now.
but it turns out it must have made you see that the dream was better than the reality - that i wasn't as great as you thought i was - that having me to yourself wasn't what you really wanted.
you'd found her. you'd found who you really wanted. everyone seen it coming. i seen it coming too. and you were finally happy.
i was a spoiled bitch, i know. but i was hurt. i felt all broken, like i did before you'd came along and put me together. i thought this was the end of it. and for a while, it was. nothing was right. we didn't see each other. i missed you so much, i knew everything had changed.

i say "were." i use past tense.
but this is all here to let you know-
i still feel that way. i still consider you my best friend. you still hold me together. i still love you.

clickity clack, clickity clack, the train goes on the track.

november 12th.

hello again (:
the birds that ate my lettuces are very stupid, said granda pig.
yes. i am watching peppa pig.
my little cousins are here - they got sent home from nursery because one of them (theyre twins) had a sore tummy. then there was child excrement everywhere. was. not. pleasent.
so now we're watching kids tv and the room smells like a public toilet. nice.

ill man. was sent home yesterday, then went back in fur that open night, then was off today. schools are off tomorrow but im going to get my retainer fitted cause i got my braces off last week!! :D can you tell i'm all happy about it? ahahaha. after having them for like a year and a half, it's amazing to have them ooofff!!

anyways, away to watch more peppa pig x

he'll help you understand. smile, like you mean it.

i'm about to go back into school, to sing in senior choir for the open night.
how thrilling is that.

i got sent home from school today.
it irritates me that i'm ill all the time.

baws x

then drop bombs like we in the middle east.

NOVEMBER 10TH.

goooood it's been a while hasn't it? a while since i've came on here and rambled on about nothing interesting and everything boring, which i doubt anybody even reads..

it's nearly christmas(:
i'm one of those people who considers anything after bonfire night "near christmas." i love christmas, that's why (: i think it's a big part due to the fact that my mother unit is a huge christmas fan - she gets all the decorations up early, and always makes sure we get into the festive spirit an' that ahahaha. i love everything - the glitter, the songs, the trees, the smell, the stories, the plays, the panto's, my little brothers coming home with pictures of reindeer and begging to be told santa stories - just one more time! i actually think it's a beautiful time and that everything wrong in the world should be resolved for christmas - because people should be happy.
don't get me wrong, i'm not five years old. i know the old man isn't coming through the skies on his sled. i know that the presents are left by our parents. and i know that starving africans aren't going to be fed because it's christmas, terrorist's aren't going to stop killing people because it's christmas and the war in afghanistan isn't going to stop claiming the lives of innocent young men because it's christmas.

but hey.
there's always hope.

happy holidays (; x

august 28th, 2009.

how long has it beeeeen! hahaha. pure ages (:!
passed everything. got four 2's, three 3's and a B. taking my highers etc. really enjoying fifth year so far actually, the teachers are so different with you - and i love double periods! haha (:

i don't really have much else to say.
i LOVE eva cassidy at the minute, her beautiful voice is all i will listen to.

andrew turner is pretty much holding me together,
and i miss the alky times.

but you gotta bring your friend, and we could have a hellofa night.

exams done, study leave over, back at school. PAL.

i'm getting back into Lady Gaga now that everyone else seems to have forgotten about her man, some of her stuff that nobody knows is pretty good like :)
isn't it a shame shame baby a shame shame, in it for the fame fame baby the fame fame.

bored bored boredddd.

chemistry music computing - also done 8-)

i think i've finally got to that wee happy place :-) i mean i've got some of my good mates back and shit, but their opinions used to play such a huuuuugeee part in my life, and now they don't. it's nice to have them back and shit, but if they start their pissy mood swings and decide to fuck off again, then it's their loss, isn't it? i know who'll stick by me through absolutely everything, and it's those people who i really need :-)(L).
i also think i need to trust these people more, and not always have this nagging feeling that they're going to leave me, that they're drifting away, 'cause to be honest i think it's all in my head.

IT'S IN YO HEEEEAD, IN YO HEEEEAD, ZOMBIE ZOMBIE ZOMBIE IE IE. ;-)

anyways, g'bye for now
xoxox

it's been a while :-)

hiiiiia. been a while since i was here, huh? my laptop got broke, been on the family one most of the time, so i kinda forgot about all these wee things i have haha (n)

so hows it going?

YOU SAY YOU DON'T KNOW, YOU TELL ME DON'T LIE, YOU WORK ON A SMILE AND YOU GO FOR A RIDE, YOU HAD A BAD DAY, THE CAMERA DON'T LIE, YOU'RE COMING BACK DOWN AND YOU REALLY DON'T MIND, YOU HAD A BAD DAY, YOU HAD A BAD DAY.
does anyone except me mind when that song was really big and it was always played on music channels and it was just fabby? oh yum (:

exams attttmmm (n)
english - done
maths - done
chemistry
music
computing
french
modern studies
biology

taking next year
higher; english french + modern studies (:
int 2; maths+computing (y)

then leaving to go to college at the end of next year, i'll be just turned sixteeeeeen :

kate nash is laaaavely, she makes me smile :-)
all the matter in the world, that's how much that i like you (8)


i miss WEE MATTY big where it counts BEGGS. majorlyyyy.

gaaaaah i don't really have much to say today, know that?
me and saul broke up. again. ach well.

xoxoxoxoxo;(L)(:

smiles :)

the caf +' the "t crew."
lunchtimes at school.
walking hand in hand.
3:29 on a friday.
school bus banter.
my best friends.
music!
swings &+ roundabouts, especially when drunk.
texts.
long phone calls at 1am.
singing like nobody's listening.
home made bread &+ butter pudding.
photography.
people who smile a lot.
msn &+ bebo.
nice shoes.
big boots.
lauryn hill.
the chart show.
fast cars.
the beach in aberdeen.
new years eve.
christmas eve.
laughing until it hurts.
somebody making you smile when you're crying.
nights out in town.
nights out in rosneath.
lazy days.
calman jones.
fresh fruit juice.
sensations crisps.
listening to him sleep.
disney films.
sad movies.
american pie, all of them.
hermi park shelter.
mwitime.
james st park.
helensburgh upper.
skinny jeans.
bright shirts.
legwarmers.
ryan's vibrating hands.
lyrics.
mayfair or richmond.
smirnoff triple distilled.
morgans spiced.
frosty jacks.
insane clown posse.
pop tarts.
coco pops straws.
waking up still drunk.
fried eggs.
french, pe and music banter.
biology with the boys.

snow day!

i love the snow, it's brillaint. the only thing i dislike about snow is that you can never get an "original" snow picture. it's really just not happening for me. which is a shame, to be honest.

i like to go out and play in the snow with my little brothers, and my dog. it's amazing how much fun kids get from it. it's amazing how much fun we still get from it hahaha.

snow's noice.

xxxx

Kasey Gallagher.

my gingieee!

i like to go to kasey's house, i do so quite often. her parents, brother and brothers best mate, they're all quite used to me being in the house. it's nice to sit up with sean at 3am and smoke his fags, while watching stephen lynch videos on youtube.

i like to go drinking with kasey. i also do this quite often. i like it that when she's drunk she likes to sing "in the jungle, the mighty jungleeee, a wumbawae, a wumbawaeeee" and just laugh when she forgets what she's singing. i like how she tries really hard to convince us, herself, and other people that she's not actually drunk, when it's clear to everyone that she's out her fucking face, just like we all are.

i like it when kasey's talking to me on msn and she says she has to phone me, because what she has to say is just SO funny that i wont get the full effect over msn, and when she actually phones me and tells me, i just dont laugh. because that in itself is funny.

i like it when kasey ends everything with nigz, and talks about moles and fists all the time.

i like all this annoying shit about kasey because she's mine, my best friend.
i like our party trick.

MS. HILL.

Lauryn Hill.

what a fucking amazing woman, in every way. she's beautiful, she's inspirational, she's talented. she's just brilliant.
i am so very glad i found her, Lauryn Hill has changed my life in every way.

Lauryn baby use your head,
but instead i chose to use my heart.




just amazing.
the one thing that is guaranteed to bring a smile to my face, is that woman's voice.
does not get any better.

"oh so you are good at something, then."

i hate it when people do that. just because they see you do one thing that you're not good at, they assume that you fail at everything in life. sometimes i think "kids" or "teenagers" or whatever see the world from a completely different, and more intelligent perspective, from most adults nowadays. people should really just not be treated like they are, it's getting fucking ridiculous.

rant over.

alright day today actually, was in town after school. noiceeee (y)(h)
exams seem so close. i read someone elses blog a while ago, (heather's if anyone's reading this.) and it was all about how proud she was of her mate, because she'd stayed in, she'd studied, she'd put in all the hard work and got the results. well i want to be that girl. i want to get my results and be proud of myself, and feel that i done completely and utterly, the best i could. gave it 12749836% and got something that was worth it.
but the thing is, i don't know if i can be that girl. i guess only time will tell.

boys complicate things.
and the beautiful, beyond words, voice of lauryn hill from the fugees, in a song with the breathtaking voice of bob marley. that fixes these complicated things.

shan's "rap" about hayley ;-]

hayley is blonde but that don't count for much
the poor litle girl yeah her friends are all touch
and GO they all leaving and she don't know what to do
they all say i'll come back yeah i'll see you real soon
but they don't, they don't come back so she's stuck with me and ash
ash is nice enough but shan does too much hash
she drinks too often also but hayley does that too
with alice babes and demi yeah because they are so COOL.

continued.

p-p-p-poker face, p-p-poker face.
russian roulette is not the same without a gun, and baby when it comes to love if it's not rough it isn't fun.

lady gaga - poker face.
song of the day mate.

i'm seriously in love with the fugees man, i was pure dancing round my room to them in my metallica top earlier haha.

i like twix's. i'm eating one the now. got over my shite day, actually. KIMBO ASKED ME TO GO STAY IN ABERDEEN. made my day. week. month. seriously, so so happyyy.
i miss her too much man. i hate people movinggg. eight fucking years we were best mates for man. nobody else could ever have the memories and the laughs that we do. amazing years, amazing laughs, amazing memories. she turned every hard time in my life into a good time. nobody ever replaces your first best friend, i suppose.

well, i'm off ta bed soon, shattereddddd.
xxxxx

January 26th, 2009.

today was pretty uneventful, to be honest.
one of those shit days, where nothing bad actually happens, but you're still in a shite mood all day.

getting dreads in 2 weeks or soemthing mate.

xxx

NEW SHAN.

right i'm never on this enough. i love writing blogs, i'm quite a self obsessed person, i like to talk about myself quite a lot, but i just am never here enough. there's a lot going on right now, wanna hear?

school;- oh god. it's like three teaching months 'till exams, less than that i think. biology, chemistry, french, english, maths, computing, modern studies. i think with enough hard work i can do okay in most of them, but i never seem to able to make myself study enough, it's quite shite to be perfectly honest. i'm far too lazyyyyy.

friends;- oh this is where it's all happening. everything's gone to shit, and like everyone is in different groups and it all changes all the time and shit. so many people walking in and out of my life, man, it's really bad. thank god for ryan +' kasey +' wee man. they never leave me, they're there through all the shit, and for all the laughs. i spend ALL my time with kasey, and ryan knows me inside out. he knows that my eyes change colour when i cry, and that i only snore when i've been drinking cider. and wee man, the most loyal and amazing guy ever. i love my mates man. they are my world, my absolute everything (yn).

saul;- oh my saulolololololol. i do love him so much. it's hard to explain though. i love him in a way that's more than best mates, but not the other kind of love you think of. it's completely different from anything, and weird and amazing. he's like me in a different body, as though we were specifically designed for each other. we've been through some awful shit and yet we always end up back together. he means the world to me, seriously :-]

music;- i don't even have a favourite kind of music anymore. give me anything and i'll love it. it's all good lately.

family;- my mother gets right on my tits sometimes. she's so much like me, yet with my worst habits and emotions multiplied by thousands. some people, you can't live with, yet can't live without. my mum is my best friend and my worst enemy. seriously. give me a breaakkkkk sometimes! (n)


oh well.
catch yeeeeee.

bleh sundays.

don't have much to do mate, it's shite really.
i read all those songs i was listening to in november.
they need changed mate.

angerfist - yes + megamix
arctic monkeys - merdy bum + when the sun goes down + teddy picker
david bowie - magic dance + port of amsterdam
biffy clyro - mountains
gorillaz - fire coming out of a monkeys head + dirty harry + clint eastwood + kids with gunz + el manana. i like gorillaz this month :-]
beyonce - if i were a boy
christina aguilera - keeps getting better
britney - boys remix
benny benassi - sweet dreams remix
eminem - rain man + cleaning out my closet
mgmt - electric feel + kids
mia - paper planes
the used - paralyzed
jet - are you gonna be my girl
yeah yeah yeahs - maps
lady gaga - just dance
franz ferdinand - ulysses
coldplay - viva la vida _ violet hill
good charlotte - dancefloor anthem.


LAAAAVE IT MATE (8)(L)

JANUARY MATEEE.

why haven't i been here in so long? it's ridiculous, tbh.
things are okay.
i just re read my last blog and the one thing that stood out to me the most was i miss matt beggs. yes well, as it happens, i spoke to him about this a few days ago. see, i'm getting better, getting better :-]

i love gorillaz lately, they make me very happy. i got apocalyptica live on dvd the other day. they would well get the boab mateeee.

i like blogs.
back later.
byeeee x