ten months.

hey baby.
it's been ten months. that's a long time.
in some ways it is easier to think about you now than it was then, but in others i think i've only recently accepted that this has really happened, so it's harder.
you're missing things i know you would have enjoyed. we went camping the other night and a lot of your friends were there - i couldn't help wondering what we'd be talking about if you were there. if we'd be laughing about old shit or catching up on things we'd both missed recently, because we never spoke enough in the last 2 years.
i added you on msn when we were like 13 and we talked again for a while. i think about all the times that i was online at the same time as you and we didn't have a proper conversation -  it kills me. i should have made more effort while i had the time. made more effort to tell you that you'll always be remembered as my first best friend. that you're in so many happy childhood memories. that your laugh will always, always be in my memory and i will never forget how fantastic you were.
i remember the drawings david done that were hanging in your house, in what i remember to be your spare room/alicia's room. we always said we'd get him to do one of us but we never got round to it.
the first time i got that operation on my foot, the day after when i was all bandaged up, you came round to my nan's house. we asked if i could stay at yours that night but my mum said she didn't think it was a good idea cause i needed my painkillers in the middle of the night. that was the last chance i ever got. that hurts.
ten months is a long time beautiful. i hope that you're ten months, years, light years, happier wherever you are. but i hope you don't forget the things i remember, or that we all still love you.