for sam.

these are things that most people wont know about me.

• nothing makes me happier than to sing & dance. i literally never feel so good.
• i drink far far too much fresh fruit juice. i think i might be addicted, it's worrying.
• i love the smell of vanilla.
• my baby brothers mean the whole entire world to me <3
• sometimes i just don't feel like making a joke. then everyone thinks there's something really wrong and complans at me. i am stuck in an endless cycle...
• i literally always have cold hands & feet.
• i'm allergic to my own skin. honest to god. urticaria.
• i'm a total geek. i mean harry potter, the lot.
• my only aim in life is to get to university and prove that hard work does pay off.
• i'm arrogant because i'm intelligent, and i'm aware of it. but i earn the right.
• i miss everyone i've lost. i think of saul all the time. but he's a cunt.
• relating to the above; saul is one of the major reasons i'm a cunt, but i think i'm one of the major reasons he's a cunt. i talk about him a lot.
• i'm a disney addict - you already know this :')
• i'm also a coffee addict...
• .....to be continued.
• ....continued
• it pisses me off when people act differently around their friends.
• i have at least 2 Take That albums. that i listen to.
• sometimes i still cry for niamh. never in front of other people. i'm shannen fucking calderwood, i have no human emotion ;D
• i love old horror movies.
• i love cheesy old movies. and musicals.
• AW speaking of musicals, here's my obsession; i seen fame the musical in theatre four times. one of those was in london's west end, where i spent the whole day with the cast as my mum's best mate's sister was in it. it was a toal surprise gift to me, i cried. they all signed my programme and we got vip seats ;D i also have the original movie on dvd, the new movie on dvd and the whole original tv series on dvd. i. love. fame. <33333
• if i could perform any one song on stage EVER it would be zombie by the cranberries.
• ....to be continued.
• ....continued.
• obviously, i genuinely hate the way i look. mostly my weight. but after 16 years you just learn to deal with it huh?
• adele - make you feel my love; always makes me think of my baby brother jamie <3
• i secretly like it when people call me babe. i'll always deny it though. don't overdo it but.
• i like getting cute texts, they make me smile. i won't smile in front of people. it makes me look like a girl.
• i fucking hate my dimples.
• i always wonder why my dad left. although he tells me he loves me more than anything else, it makes you think.
• i keep things that seem insignificant to other people; cinema tickets, train tickets, scribbled drawings. they're on my walls. my walls describe me well.
• i like you a lot more than you think i do ;D
• ....to be continued.
• ....continued
• i was about to tell you all this but you just took a strop. end of blog. goodbye.
• you made me blush.
• i hate not knowing things. like when someone says "naw ill tell you later" im like FUCKIN TELL ME NOW YA PRICK.

i miss my best friend.
catriona carol clegg, please come back.

a whole year down the line.

i know that in the last year this blog has become a memorial, where i direct everything i say at niamh. 
niamh's dead. a whole year dead. i suppose i should move on.


dead is a hard word to say when you are directly talking about somebody who used to be the other half of you.


sometimes i think it's worse that the people who came into my life and filled that gap are not dead. they're just no longer in it.


i love you niamh lafferty, i always have and i always will; i will never have another first best friend.

ten months.

hey baby.
it's been ten months. that's a long time.
in some ways it is easier to think about you now than it was then, but in others i think i've only recently accepted that this has really happened, so it's harder.
you're missing things i know you would have enjoyed. we went camping the other night and a lot of your friends were there - i couldn't help wondering what we'd be talking about if you were there. if we'd be laughing about old shit or catching up on things we'd both missed recently, because we never spoke enough in the last 2 years.
i added you on msn when we were like 13 and we talked again for a while. i think about all the times that i was online at the same time as you and we didn't have a proper conversation -  it kills me. i should have made more effort while i had the time. made more effort to tell you that you'll always be remembered as my first best friend. that you're in so many happy childhood memories. that your laugh will always, always be in my memory and i will never forget how fantastic you were.
i remember the drawings david done that were hanging in your house, in what i remember to be your spare room/alicia's room. we always said we'd get him to do one of us but we never got round to it.
the first time i got that operation on my foot, the day after when i was all bandaged up, you came round to my nan's house. we asked if i could stay at yours that night but my mum said she didn't think it was a good idea cause i needed my painkillers in the middle of the night. that was the last chance i ever got. that hurts.
ten months is a long time beautiful. i hope that you're ten months, years, light years, happier wherever you are. but i hope you don't forget the things i remember, or that we all still love you.

t in the park 2010.

obviously, t in the park was always going to be amazing.
and obviously, seeing eminem who is without doubt one person who i never falter to love and admire, was going to be overwhelming.
but overwhelmed doesn't even begin to describe the state of me when that man walked on stage. he opened his mouth and i just CRIED. it was fantastic. i couldn't even believe it was happening. everything he ever does means so much to me and he was right in front of me, in person, performing it live, and telling his fans that HE loves US. wow.
never been happier. complete. loved it.

T IN THE FUCKING PARK.

im gunna get up an go for a bath in a minute.

i keep saying that to myself. i have been doing so for like half an hour. but i never go. i'm just sitting here, listening to jack johnson, rambling away about nothing. 


my exchange partner's here from georgia in america. he's pretty sound. he just said "enjoy your bath" and walked out. aye son i will, if i ever get round to fucking going.

HE LIKES ME HE LIKES ME HE LIKES ME HE LIKES ME HE LIKES ME HE LIKES ME HE LIKES ME HE LIKES ME.

for fuck sake.

i have turned into a total girl.
in that smile when i get a text, giggle, get butterflies way.
about one of those guys who you like in secret, cause you know your mates will tease you, because only YOU can see why you like him.

best part?
he likes my mate :D! high FAIVE.

MEOW IS FOR

PUSSIES.

BIRTHDAY PARTY :D

DONE.
THE. BEST.

i suppose i haven't told you much about myself lately, have i?
hiya, ahm shan.
i always wear my hat which looks like a panda, i like it, i like pandas, so people took to just calling me shandapanda or panda lately.
i seem like a total junkie alky loudmouthed common bitch. but i'm not really like that...all the time.

i loooooove my friends, as does everyone i suppose (: kasey gallagher, catriona clegg, gemma gibson, olivia addison, robbie anderson, joe foster, thomas matthews, sheryl dunn. all people that make my days better, in their own wee ways :)
i also love people like becca & megan - people as different from me as you can imagine at first glance, but who gave me a chance and realised who i actually am and what im actually like :) these two are fabulous and without them i'd be lost.

matthew brown, over the past few months, has became a massive part of my life. my ginger :) i actually love you, i don't know what i'd do without you, and i'm so glad i got pished at new years ;D ahhahaha. silly nigzzzzzz <3333

i like music and all that shit. not a big tv fan. banter :D (L)

to mummy :)

It's empty in the valley of your heart

The sun, it rises slowly as you walk

Away from all the fears

And all the faults you've left behind

The harvest left no food for you to eat

You cannibal, you meat-eater, you see

But I have seen the same

I know the shame in your defeat

But I will hold on hope

And I won't let you choke

On the noose around your neck

And I'll find strength in pain

And I will change my ways

I'll know my name as it's called again

Cause I have other things to fill my time

You take what is yours and I'll take mine

Now let me at the truth

Which will refresh my broken mind

So tie me to a post and block my ears

I can see widows and orphans through my tears

I know my call despite my faults

And despite my growing fears

But I will hold on hope

And I won't let you choke

On the noose around your neck

And I'll find strength in pain

And I will change my ways

I'll know my name as it's called again

So come out of your cave walking on your hands

And see the world hanging upside down

You can understand dependence

When you know the maker's hand

So make your siren's call

And sing all you want

I will not hear what you have to say

Cause I need freedom now

And I need to know how

To live my life as it's meant to be

And I will hold on hope

And I won't let you choke

On the noose around your neck

And I'll find strength in pain

And I will change my ways

I'll know my name as it's called again

mummytron.

i have a blog about my dad. well, stepdad, but it's the same thing to me, i love him like he's my father - if you've read it you'll understand.

but my mother, my beautiful, fantastic, amazing, poor poor mother is my hero. i have never and will never in my entire existence love anybody even a fraction of the amount that i love that woman.
she's a dick. i mean she seriously is. sometimes i just want to rip her face off i feel like i hate her that much. but i always love her. sometimes if i say something nasty about her i need to whisper "i love you" inside my head just to balance things out - just in case, you know?

mummy. i will fix this for you. i will look after you just like i always have. if it means giving up everything else in my life - and i mean everything - i will do it. i will make this better.

english essay #2.

edit; this essay was marked by my teacher and she said something like "shannen calderwood, this is a magnificent piece of writing, it's just so heartfelt and beautiful. it's perfect." you can imagine how pleased i was.


Writing a whole essay on a topic you feel strongly about, without it turning into a rather biased rant, is quite difficult. But so is finding a topic that you feel strongly enough about to write an essay on. There are few, for me personally, but this is probably the biggest one.

Parklands school, for children with support needs.

If you are an animal lover, animal cruelty is more disgusting to you than to people who don’t like pets. If you are a bookworm, libraries to you are the greatest place in the world. Everybody has things which are personal to them. For me, with a younger brother who happens to have aspergers syndrome - a form of autism - the idea of a school like this being closed is horrific. 

To truly express the way I feel about this school and it’s possibly closure, I would suppose I have to truly express my feelings towards my little brother. I have three younger brothers, and they are my only siblings. Cullen, the eldest, is 10 years old, 11 next month. Craig & Jamie are 9 year old twins. Craig, mentally and physically, is perfectly healthy for a 9 year old boy. Jamie, however, is not so lucky. Physically Craig and Jamie are nothing alike. Craig, along with his older brother Cullen, is very much like his dad in looks. They are tanned, tall, slim, and have dark hair and eyes. Jamie is much more like me, and my mum. We all have fair hair, pale skin and blue eyes. We knew from when Jamie was about three years old that he was slightly odd, but we thought he was just his own person, he enjoyed his own company. It wasn’t until his primary one teacher suggested that we have him tested for autism that we thought anything could be truly wrong. But it didn’t change how we thought of him. Jamie is the light of my whole life. He is the one person who I know, no matter how bad I feel, could cheer me up with one smile. He is the most beautiful child I have ever seen in my life and he will always be the most beautiful. Jamie is intelligent, and I will never tire of coming home to the sound of him rambling about something he has learned in school that day, or something he found in one of his books. He loves dinosaurs, and could talk about them for longer than any other child can talk about one thing without getting bored. He has his bad days and he has his tantrums, but he makes me happy every single time I see him, and I could want nothing at all more than for him to have a long and happy life, even with his condition.

Parklands school allows children like Jamie, and children who are much worse off than him (as well as better) to have a decent standard of living and a happy, enjoyable few years while they are there. They have facilities which could never be provided for them if they are placed into mainstream education, which is what is proposed by the government if the school is to close. Inside Parklands there is a hydropool, so that the children who are in wheelchairs can have an hour or so of freedom a day and allow their bodies to move around. There is a class of five children, who I do volunteer work with, who are far, far too badly disabled to go into mainstream schools. Only one can walk and none of them can talk. There are hoists and changing facilities in their classroom as these children (I say children, but some of them are as old as 18 years old) cannot even signal when they need to go to the toilet, let alone dream of going themselves. One of the girls cannot move enough to eat, she is fed through a tube in her stomach at intervals throughout the day. These people cannot be put into mainstream education. Although the government propose that some of the money they save will be spent on extra training for teachers, they will not be able to, or may choose not to, deal with things like that. Even if they could, the government would have to spend even more money building extra facilities into schools so that the children could be looked after properly. There is also a multi-sensory room which is full of soft mats and cushioned areas and, again, hoists, so that the pupils in the school can all get use out of it. It has many coloured lights, a bubble machine (which again is a visual stimulant), speakers to play calming or upbeat music depending on the children and their moods. Things like this could not be provided if these children were put into mainstream education.

I personally believe that if you put the “big men” who are right at the top, who are responsible for this idea being considered, into that school for a day, they would stop their debating and leave Parklands open without a second though. To walk into that school every day and see the joy that the surroundings, the staff - even down to the smiles they get from the dinner ladies - brings these young people, is touching to say the very, very least. To enter the classroom of those five severely disabled individuals and see the slight smile they give you, the wave from one or two of them, could reduce you to tears if you thought for a moment what would happen to those smiles if they could no longer be there every day. The staff in this school are also some of the most brilliant people I have ever came across in my entire life - they are doing the job I strive to do and they enjoy every minute of it, it’s clear on every single one of their faces. They, too, know the happiness that they bring these children every day just by being a familiar face and that is not a feeling you ever want to trade - not even if you were offered the world. If Parklands was to close and these people be put into mainstream education, they would no longer have those familiar surroundings and day to day activities  - some as simple as a member of staff pressing snow into their hand so that they can feel it and recognise that it’s cold - which bring them such happiness. They would not cope in mainstream education so they would have top stay at home with their parents - who would most likely, therefore, need to give up their jobs or at least have to work part time instead of full time, therefore losing money, and their children’s standard of living would decrease that little bit more. 

I don’t think any amount of money that can be saved by the government is worth the effect that the closure of Parklands would have on the lives of these children. It is not worth the sadness and confusion that would wash over them with the loss of such a massive part of their every day. And, as I said, I feel this strongly about it because I can empathise. My little brother qualifies for Parklands, and although he is currently in a normal primary school, he only copes as there are under 100 pupils in the school and he has adequate classroom assistants. After primary school that could change, he could be unable to deal with the amount of pupils in a mainstream secondary school and have to go to Parklands for his secondary education - if the school has been closed, what will happen to him?

The mere thought of this school and all the excellent facilities it offers children being closed is unreasonable and, quite frankly, disgusting. If they do decide to close it, I can only imagine what the parents of pupils there and residents of Helensburgh will have to say about it, if this is the views of one fifteen year old girl in an English essay. It will be rather interesting.

Daddy.

i remember when i was about four or five, and we lived in ardencaple, and i had a night light that had a beauty & the beast shade on it that made scary shapes on the wall, you used to read to me every night. a chapter from one of my winnie the pooh books. they were gorgeous books, i still have them on my bookshelves in my bedroom. i could never throw them away because i used to love that time so much.
i also remember when you taught me to ride my first bike without stabelisers, on the grit pitch at the rugby club, and i know how mnay times i fell off and cried. but i also remember how happy you were when i finally got going.
i remember sitting in yours & my mum's room, which was the last room on the left before the front door, on the end of the bed, with you teaching me how to tie the laces on my trainers. that probably took as long as learning to ride the bike haha, but you were patient, and now my laces are always perfect :)
i remember your birthday party at the rugby club where it was james bond & bond girls etc. me and my mummy practically had the same dresses except mine was a little girls dress obviously. you told us both how beautiful we looked, and i have the picture of us together from that night pinned up in my room somewhere, along with another few of me and you together.
apparently i wouldn't go near anyone in the club unless i was with you, when i was yonger, but i don't remember that far back. i loved you. i love you.
i remember that night a few months ago when i came home really pished and you told me off, as was deserved, for being drunk AGAIN. and i remember saying the one thing i was most ashamed of saying in my entire life. "you're not even my real dad. you don't love me." oh god, i know what it must have done to you to hear that, and i hope you know how much it killed me when i woke up and remembered. i have never, ever been so disgusted in myself. because you are my dad. as much as my "real" dad is my father as well, that doesn't make you any less of that. because you've been here for me for longer than i can remember, you've put up with my shit for the past 15 years or whatever, and you never once brought it up. you've done everything for me, for all of us, especially for my mum.
i've been so shit to you over the past few years because as i got older we grew more and more apart, argued more and more. yet you still stuck by me through every little thing life threw at me.
so why this?
i think i started this to try and put into words how much i'm going to miss you, but i have since realised that that would be impossible. i'm going to miss the stupidest little things. the way you walk about silently, in your wee grumpy way. your really shit jokes. our banter. giving you a hug when i'm really upset and finding comfort in the fact that i'm still so much smaller than you, even now. you waking me up in the morning and having it timed so well that that i'm always out of bed at exactly the same time. the faces we make when my mum speaks and we both think the same thing at the same time. the way you lick the spoon when you finish serving something and it drives her INSANE, but i still notice you doing it every time. laughing to myself when i see you making yourself food after dinner and thinking how you will eat ANYTHING on toast.
i love you so much i'm not even going to try and explain it. i take comfort in the fact that you're here. after all these years of arguments i've never doubted the fact that you love me, love us, anyway.
but i was wrong.
and i think this was all to say, simply, please don't leave me. please, please don't go.

mhm.

this was supposed to be an essay, but i liked it, so.


Describe a person or event which has changed your life drastically.”

There are many people and events which have changed my life in what I would call a drastic way. People coming, people going, things happening. But nothing changed my life more drastically than the day my best friend left.

People use that term too lightly, “best friend”. Someone you’ve known a while and get along with, or someone you tell more secrets to than others. But Kimberley Murray was honestly my best friend. For nine years, we were inseparable. We done everything together, all of the time, since we were in primary 1. We used to have “sleepovers” and go round to each others houses - dropped off by our parents, obviously. We got older but the routine pretty much stayed the same - by primary 4 or 5 we were about 8 or 9, old enough to make our own way to each others houses which were only ten minutes or so apart. We would see each other after school almost every day, would stay over at weekends. Kimbo, although not called that until she was about 13, would come with me when I visited my dad’s house at weekends. By the time we were 11 or 12 we were getting the bus into Helensburgh most Saturdays and spending the day in town before staying at one of our houses. Our friendship was so effortless, it was brilliant. We just clicked, we were the two halves of the whole, “double trouble” - any nickname for a duo, that was Shan and Kim. From that young an age, she was my whole world, and I loved her, love her, with all my heart.

When we hit the “terrible teens” it was even better. Better for us, worse for our parents, I suppose. We had even better times than we had when we were younger, and I really appreciated Kimbo for a person in general, rather than my best friend. She really is an amazing individual, always going out of her way to make other people happy, and is always there to talk to if she’s needed. Through the past two or three years she has been there for me through some really hard times, and has never once complained about how selfish I have been, just dumping everything on her because it got too hard for me. She made me the person I am today by supporting me through everything, and that’s not just a cheesy line. We were never at home, we were always out, or at each other’s houses, just like we always had been. It was; school, Kimbo’s, home on the last bus, school - and so on until Friday when we went straight to Kim’s, I stayed the night, Saturday we went into town, I stayed the night, Sunday we went into town, and I went home on the last bus. We spent every second of time we possibly could together and yet we never got sick of each other - like I said, we were halves of the whole, like yin and yang, you couldn’t have one without the other, she completed me.

When she left, it tore me apart. It really did, there is no other way to put it, it was like a physical emptiness. You can’t spend 9 years of your life with somebody and then be able to cope when they walk out of your life and move 4 hours away. Four hours may not seem a lot but to a 14 year old girl with no money and no means of visiting and school to go to and problems to deal with, your best friend, your “soul sister” being that far away from you, is a really big deal. My mum, who had obviously known Kimbo for as long as I did, realised how hard it was for me to cope because even she got quite emotional, so I knew that I could always talk to my mum about it, but I didn’t really have much to say. I was missing part of me, a big part of me, and I knew it wouldn’t be coming back any time soon. I think a lot of people expected me to cry a lot, or mope around, but I didn’t. I got on with everything the same as usual but I was just “numb” I suppose. A lot of people use that word to describe a feeling of loss but that is really how I felt, as though nothing affected me any more, I was just on autopilot. I didn’t want to cry, but I didn’t want to laugh, either - nothing was particularly funny any more.

My life changed drastically when she left, but also in my accepting that she would not be coming back, and moving on. It took a while, but I assume everyone expected it to. I became more independent and my personality also changed a lot - I had spent 9 years with the same person, now I was making new friends and it was having a big effect on me. I met people like Catriona Clegg, who to this day is the person I will swear got me through it. Cleggie has inspired me in so many ways, I have never met a more selfless and brilliant person in my entire life - she is one of my heroes. Kim leaving helped me find her, so every cloud has a silver lining. It also taught me a lesson in life - everybody experiences loss in some way or another, and Kim leaving prepared me for events such as that. Recently a very good friend of mine committed suicide, and although the situation is hugely different, I do feel I used some tiny part of how I felt when Kimberley left to help me through that. It has also helped me see just how strong our friendship was, as I still speak to her every single day, have visited her many times in the year and a half since she has been gone, and she has visited me.

Kimberley Murray changed my life both as a person and as an event, when she left. She changed my life in a negative way, in such a bad way, that I thought I would never recover. But then I took some time to think about it and realised that I had been right all along, my Kimbo had changed my life for the better.

febz

T IN THE PARK 2O1O.

my name's chip diddy chip.

i love kasey winifred ruth gallagher. (:

that's actually got nothing to do with why i'm here but i just thought i'd let you know.
chipmunk, what have you got to say for yourself?
MUH NAMYZ CHIP DIDEH CHIP.

oh wow megan just popped up on msn and asked me to go see paloma faith with her! i looooove paloma faith :'D i am so happy (LLLLL)

jasonmrazisabityummy,inthe. i only got back into him cause cleggbum is constantly goin' about singing him to herself, in that way that she does, the crazy fool. love her but.


anyways BOIIII, goin to meet the wifey, get eh bus hame an go fer a run hawhaw.

fuck this.

malaria is africa's biggest killer, and it takes the lives of roughly 900,000 african children each year. the most effective way to prevent this is with the use of insecticide treated mosquito nets. these nets (who can fit more than one child under them, if need be) cost roughly $10. yes, many people in our country in others do pay money from their own pocket to stop this. know why it doesn't matter? kleptocracy. in 2007, kenyan politicians awarded themselves a pay increase of $45,00 each - making them among the best paid politicians in the world. wonder where THAT money way supposed to go...

dance.

neon lights, mosh pits

all i see is sweat, tits

hot guys, hotter girls

the bassline messing up their curls.

sex and drugs, how cliched

live for the music's what we say

graffiti scribbled on a wall

these song lyrics will kill us all.

obsession with songs

obsession with fantasy

whether youtube or radio

there's magic in what we see

dance for your life for your sanity

dance 'till you can't feel

dance for your life, full of vanity

dance makes you feel real.

She pushed in before me, in the supermarket queue

pretended not to see me, in that way women do.
She put on the counter some bread and milk too
and then she pulled out five different bottles of shampoo.
And I thought to myself, 'I will never understand women.'
And I hear some of you saying, 'Yeah but all men are all the same!
They all think they're so cool and are ruled by their dicks.'
That might be true of me, but it ain't true of all of us
so don't point that finger so quick.


I do see some of the blokes though,
In the clubs, pinching girls arses, trying to be intimidating
Making obscene passes. Man, she's a goddess, you can tell by the way she dances.
But you call her a slag when she don't accept your advances.
You just show you got no respect for yourself, show you ain't got the balls
to just talk to a girl.
So when she chats to me, you spit at her and shout 'Whore!'
Well it is written, in the art of war, to fight only the battles you can win.
But I will defend your honour til they kick my face in.
If you have to scrape me broken boned, bruised, bloodied, and battered up off the floor..
Well FUCK IT. Integrity is what black eyes were invented for.


So down with the dick-tatorship, that is so cock-sure,
they use rape as a weapon of war.
FUCK the man who thinks it's ok to give his wife a punch,
FUCK the judge who says it weren't rape cause she was drunk.
And if you're pro-life. I mean if you're PRO .. LIFE,
then become a doctor, or foster a kid.
Make it possible for people who are alive to live.

But don't you dare tell women what they can and can't do,
when it was a woman that gave life to you.


Yes, I'm a man, a fairly stereotypical one,
but I ain't afraid to say I think all women are beautiful and strong.
Too fat, too thin, that's just media spin,
you look best when you're comfortable in your own skin.
So I'm sorry, if we've made you feel undue,
the truth be known...I'm in awe of you.


You're a giver of life and warrior too.
So do you really need FIVE different bottles of shampoo?

-Itch from The King Blues.

unbelieveable.

i don't know why i'm still thinking about it, you know. surely i should have gotten over it by now. but i can't believe it took something like the other week for you to realise the effect that would have on me? you kept saying how you knew and that's why you felt so guilty - if you knew, and you blame yourself so much now, why did you do it? maybe not the first time, but the second, third, fourth maybe? i don't know how often you done it.
this isn't here because i blame you. actually i'd be thankful if you didn't read it because penny to a pound you wont be happy with me, despite the fact i haven't mentioned your name or said what it's about.

but if you feel so guilty now, why didn't you feel guilty then?

i don't want you to feel guilty, i've told you, i love you, you mean everything to me and i don't hold this against you. i just cannot believe you didn't know until now how much it got to me :/

The Great Gatsby - X Rated.

gemma wrote;
"The Great Daizzy" by Jay Gatzzby is a porno about one rich sexxi beetch and a poor tramp who lives in their own piss down an alleyway.
One day Daizzy was off to get some new dresses nd she's lyk walkin past the alley, when suddenly the tramp, Cleggie, jumps on her in a rage screaming "I AM A TRAMP!!"
The even took Daizzy by surprise so much that she barely even noticed Cleggie smacking her in the face until she heard a shout: "Daizzy! Daizzy! Daizzy! I'm coning old sport!" - and Gatzzby flew past in his hydroplane with his hoes in the back seat.

shan wrote;
His hoes were enjoying some sort of lesbian orgy, which Gatzzby had been watching/filming and they were unimpressed at being disturbed. They thought he'd noticed that Daizzy was being violently raped by a tramp and was going to rescue her, but then they realised that he was just masturbating, and he always shouted "Daizzy! I'm coming old sport!" as he was about to ejaculate.
Meanwhile, things with Cleggie and Daizzy weren't going so well...

gemma;
Daizzy only had 3 teeth left. If Cleggie continued smashing Daizzy's face against the ground, at this rate the pretty fool wouldn't be so attractive - but of course that was Cleggie's motve. Daizzy's blooded screams began to echo through the alley...
"Shut up bitch, try'na film sex!" yelled Gatzzby."


to be continued.

enter shikari & the king blues, february 7th 2010.

uhmayzing night.
thoroughly enjoyed it all, considering i'm not an enter shikari fan and can name literally one song aha. the fist support band were rotten, nobody enjoyed it at all. it was like really, really awful screamo and everyone was just standing there like what the fuck is this :|

but then the bold King Blues themselves came on (: and they played all songs i knew, weeeeeeee :D so me and cleggie and quite a lot of other people had a good wee sing and dance, and stared at johnny because he's fucking beautiful (: it was actually brilliant, they proper know how to get everyone dancing :')

enter shikari were surprisingly good, as i said, despite me not being a fan. good band to see live, i'd recommend it to anyone who likes them definately. had a good wee dance to them aswell actually.

and going to war

to prevent war

was the most stupid thing

i ever heard.

and over the sirens

and the police cars

you can hear us shout

these streets are ours.

blogblogblog,february2010.

usually i'd moan about other people doing this, but i don't do it often, and i felt the need, so (: you know how you get those irritating people who have been going out with someone for like 2 days & they're all like oh my god i luv my bby gal mor dan enyfink in dis wurld! well i've turned into one of them.
matthew brown :)
k this only started on new years, which is what, just over a month ago? but i've not been so happy in so long! i actually constantly smile now, it's amazing :)
we knew we'd get shit for it from certain people but even that was soooo much easier than we thought it would be, everything just seems to be going to well.
usually i can't stand relationships, to have got through a whole month and just be getting happier and happier is a really big deal for me :/
so, thank you, & i love you.

i love you.

& i miss you so fucking much.
it's quite weird actually, i write to you. well, not to you, so much, as i understand that you can't read them. but i write as though i'm adressing you. & mostly i just tell you what a fucking arsehole you are. you were doing so well. i loved you so much, even after all that time. so did your other friends, david, your mum, your sisters. and you went and done that.
i suppose i know why you done it. i suppose i always did know, from the minute i found out, but i still couldn't believe it.
i have so many pictures. so many happy memories. sad ones too, yeah, but you always seemed to brighten those up. i was always the crybaby, and you never let me forget it. i put up with it though, like i always have with people. way back in nursery when you used to hit mark & ross and blame me - though looking back on it, they always knew it wasn't me who'd done it. it was the angelic looking one with the glasses on pink string. i always envied your glasses you know. cause you had them and nobody else did. you used to nick stuff as well, crayons and stuff.
remember we used to chalk on the pavements & play hopscotch, even though we were shit at it? i loved that man, ahhahaha.
i keep meaning to go and visit the grave, you know. i do. but i don't know, i can't do it by myself, & i don't want to ask anyone to come with me. i know kasey would but i know she'd also feel awkward because she didn't really know you, same with cleggie. i know saul would come if i asked him to, but i want to give him the right to miss you in his own way, he knew you as well. i don't really know who else to turn to.
i can't listen to s club fucking 7 any more, not that i did any more, really. but that one song. it's painful. it brings back your smile more than anything else, and it's that that i cannot believe is missing from this world. that and your stupid laugh. you took all of those things with you.
you took part of me with you.

january 13th 2010.

been a while, bawbags.

i actually haven't been on here in so long. i have quite a lot to say but to be honest, you probably don't want to hear it.
matt :D (L) new years was amaaaaaze, got mwimwimwi. went to gogglebox, got moreeee mwimwimwi.
joe fuckin' foster is a legend, as is catriona clegg.

rebecca plenderleith is souuuuuund :D