november 27th 2011.

i really want to ask you to give us another chance, for the sake of the baby if nothing else.
you tell me you care about me and want me to be happy. you want to spend your time here with me or have me come and stay with you. you hold me all night while i cry and kiss me and tell me you wish you knew how to make it better. you say that you don't want to be with anyone else. you say you want to be here for the baby as much time as you possibly can. not to mention the fact that you still want to sleep with me all the time - and i'm six months pregnant so it's hardly cause i'm looking so good. so i don't see why we can't just give us another chance and give our baby a chance to grow up with both it's parents - something we both missed out on, and have wished we had.
but of course i'm too scared to say any of this to you, because right now, with everything that's going on and the way i feel, the rejection of you saying no because you're too stubborn to even fucking think about it would just crush me i think. and you would. you wouldn't even let me explain, because you'd already have made your mind up. you're always like that and you know it. i'd barely get the sentence out and you'd be going NO without even listening to how i feel.
you're also so scared of anyone knowing we spend time together any more...we were friends BEFORE we went out, so we can be friends after, and i'm also pregnant with your baby. the fact you are so ashamed of anyone knowing you even speak to me any more makes it actually difficult for me to be around you. imagine if one day stuart started keeping your friendship a secret because he thought his other friends were going to laugh or something because he spoke to you? it's heartbreaking. are you going to be the same with our baby? because i won't have it. if this secrecy is because there's someone else, i wish, for the love of god, you would just fucking tell me.
just tell me what the hell is going on.